Have you ever been jealous of anyone? I know I have.

Whether they are better at their job than you, are better at sports, can speak multiple languages… I’m sure we all remember someone who we have looked at and thought:

‘I wish I could do this like them!’

You might consider it a ‘dirty emotion’ – one to be ashamed of and to hide from others.

But what people don’t understand is jealousy is just a step on a bigger path!

The destination? Living your dream life.

Ok ok. It sounds romantic. You want to understand how this can be possible. And I’ll oblige you:

Turn your jealousy into inspiration. It’s that simple. All it takes is action, dedication and a desire to improve.

When most people see someone getting out of their Ferrari, wearing an Armani suit, checking the time on their Rolex as they enter the Ritz, their thought process stops at:

‘I wish I had a sports car. I wish I could afford to look like that.’ Or perhaps, more negatively, ‘lucky so-and-so’ (keeping this PG).

Or, personally, when I hear my friend speak to me in English, call his dad in Spanish and then order at the Italian restaurant we’re sat at in fluent Italian, I can’t help feel a twinge of jealousy. I wish I could do that!

But, let me ask you, after comparing yourself like this and envying another’s ability to do something you can’t do, how many times have you then made the effort to learn it?

And how many times have you then committed to learning it for an extended period? Created a study timetable or committed to a class or even asked others how they learnt this skill.

Too many people are content to feel this jealousy and, in response, feel sorry for themselves and think about how lucky this other person is to have such a skill.

Well, this is an INCREDIBLY lazy attitude. Luck has nothing to do with it. They have simply spent time in the past putting in the effort to learn this skill.

And you can too!

Alike everyone else who possesses this skill, this person had to start at the beginning. Started by simply learning how to play an ‘A’ chord on guitar, or how to say ‘how are you’ in French, or how to hold a paint brush in the correct way.

They were jealous, they struggled, they got frustrated, they thought about giving up, and maybe they even had days where they couldn’t bring themselves to practice.

But they didn’t give up.

‘I hated every minute of training, but I thought “don’t quit, suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion”’.

These were the words on just one of the twenty posters at my cricket net when I was 10.

These were the words that resonated with me.

It’s easy to blame luck or natural talent for one’s ability to do something, but this greatly disrespects the vast amounts of hours they have dedicated to their craft. The hours they spent missing lay-ups in basketball or forgetting their lines in concerts. The time they spent suffering to achieve greatness whilst others looked at the mountain and thought it was just too steep!

Likewise, when you look at that person emerging from their Ferrari, do you imagine the vast number of hours they spent working towards having this lifestyle? Improving their craft, dedicating countless hours to succeed having risked failure to reap the benefits of success?

Thinking this way is an insult to the minority of people who understand that success won’t land at your feet. You must chase it, dominate it and make it yours!

‘To learn to succeed, you must first learn to fail’. The wise words of a lesser-known basketball player known as Michael Jordan!

‘The hardest step is the first’ – a well-known quote saying to encourage people to start practicing and trying new things. But Jordan’s quote concerns the dedication to improve.

People often say the first step is the hardest… I disagree. Yes, this is a good way to inspire people to take that first step to achieving their goals.

But I want to be completely honest with you.

The hardest part is the determination, dedication and discipline to continue. To not be satisfied with 2^nd place when you know you can overtake 1^st.

In a marathon, is the first step the hardest? Or is the hardest thing commanding yourself to ignore the pain in your chest and ache in your legs whilst knowing you still have 10 miles to run.

It sounds brutal. But that’s why it’s called the top 1% and not the top 50%. Few people want to work so hard and push themselves so far to achieve greatness. And those who do deserve all the benefits and rewards that their hard work makes possible.

Learn to be ok with failure. Don’t fear it – relish it!

And understand that when you’re jealous of someone, it’s not a curse but a blessing. It shows you what you want. What you really, really want.

It’s up to you to take the first step, and not to stop until you’ve achieved your dreams.

Persevere and don’t be dissuaded by failure. To put it simply, and to quote my old University cricket society’s favourite saying:

‘You learn by losing!’ – SUCC